


B7 Limericks

by Willa Shakespeare (AnonEhouse)



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Limericks, Other, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 10:02:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/Willa%20Shakespeare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Canonically, there was a limerick in the aired series- it was just one line- unfinished. I couldn't leave it like that. And one limerick led to another. (All written on the same day in 2001, I believe.)</p><p>These are mostly the naughty kind of limericks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	B7 Limericks

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

Vila’s unfinished limerick from ‘CYGNUS ALPHA’

There was a young lady from Cygnus,  
Who had quite a firm grasp of business.  
For twenty credits a lay,  
She handled eighty convicts a day,  
“Any more,” she said, “would be piggyness.”

Fly-Fishing 

Once a bold rebel named Blake,  
Went fishing for trout in a lake.  
“You’re not using the right bait,  
Drop your trousers and wait,”  
Said Avon, that smug little rake.

Sans leather Avon went swimming,  
Round Blake who complied with misgiving,  
“Mind-wiped, I forgot what I knew,  
So, though odd, what you say may be true.”  
(His strong suit was never clear thinking.)

Our hero soon had a nibble,  
A definite catch, without quibble.  
Hook, line, and sinker were bitten,  
By Avon - that cold fish- now smitten.  
And Roj’s limit was reached with a dribble.

 

There once was a rebel named Avon  
Who looked for a nice quiet haven,  
Unfortunately he found  
Himself stuck underground  
With a lecherous thief in a cave-in.

There once was a rebel named Jenna  
Who won't rhyme, I'll bet you a tenner,  
She can't fit in limericks,  
Unless you resort to foul tricks,  
Such as giving her a pair of antenna.

There once was a computer named Orac  
Which was turned into a ceiling to floor rack,  
It now holds all Vila's wines  
And no longer opines,  
Even Avon prefers it to store hock.

There once was a rebel named Cally  
Who with aliens and rebels was pally,  
She became so sweet and kind  
It's difficult to bear in mind  
She was a guerilla initially.

There once was a rebel named Dayna  
Who was never called a complaina'  
But Avon's studs hurt her 'pride'  
'I love the contents inside  
I just wish the wrapping were plainer'.

There once was a rebel named Soolin  
Who always aimed her best to win  
She lined her enemies up in a row,  
And shot them all *there* - down below,  
While they cried,'That isn't feminine!'

There once was a rebel named Vila  
Who wrapped his love in chinchilla,  
'It's fur to say,  
I like her that way,  
As she makes a wonderful pilla'.

(I completed this- the first 2 lines were written by someone else. I'm no longer in contact with this person, so can't ask permission, but I really doubt they'd object to my posting it here.)  
There once was a rebel named Blake  
Who found out his mem'ries were fake  
'My life is all dreams,  
Nothing is as it seems  
The whole mess makes my head ache'.

There once was a rebel named Gan  
Who hoped to be slashed by a fan,  
He prayed in an old church  
But was hauled away in a hearse  
After Travis caught him by the organ.

There once was a rebel named Tarrant  
Whose charms were readily apparent  
His smile was so bright  
It fair lit up the night,  
Causing Avon to sprout aslant.

There once was a computer named Slave  
Who tried all his 'life' to behave,  
But his weakness for studs  
Who wore tight leather duds  
Led him to be mastered by knaves.

There once was a computer named Zen  
Who avoided involvement with men,  
But when Jenna touched his button  
He melted like overcooked mutton,  
And they made it at Standard by Ten.

There once was a creature named Og,  
Who was gifted at birth with a log  
So furry and fine,  
All the women thought it divine  
And invited him 'round for a jog.


End file.
